O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
