question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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