friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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