You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
