one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
