i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
