dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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