your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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