First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
