Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
