woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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