Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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