There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I fill condoms, not promises.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
