the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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