I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
