The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
