The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
