I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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