i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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