You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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