singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
