I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
