im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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