suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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