there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
