I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
