Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
