There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So. Much. Porn.
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