Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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