I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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