I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
