she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
