i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
