I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
