oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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