It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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