dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
