well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
