is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
