I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize