I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
