It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
