I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
