i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
