we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
