After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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