i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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