So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
