You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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