Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
