a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
