When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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