gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
