We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
