I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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