I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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