scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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