It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
