you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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