why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
