Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize