Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
