Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
