Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
