I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
