I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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