Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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