My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
